A story about friends

Do we really know the definition of friend? Do we really know what it means to be a friend? Do we ever wonder what makes a good friend or for that matter a best friend? The real question is do we really care what a friend is and do we really care if we have them?

The definition of a friend is a person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically exclusive of sexual relationship. Now before we get started lets sit on that and think about it.

I know when I was growing up my mother always told me that you don't have friends you have acquaintances. You never really learn the meaning of that until you grow up and you see how people really are. Me, I managed to gather some friends that I made in high school that became family. I consider then family and I know they consider me family. When we get older in life we start to shift focus to doing what we all are conditioned for which is surviving. This means going to college getting a career, starting a family of our own and for some of us we just continue to live. We forget that at one point we had friends and used to have a social life. We forget the people we used to go have a beer with, go watch a PPV, go play video games with, talk to in text message or even over the phone. We get so involved in our own life we that we leave friends behind. I'm not saying that is a bad thing its just what happens. Things change in our lives that we have control over and some where we have no control over and we do whats best for us and our family. I was always the one who never did anything about where I was going in life and made a lot of friends along the way. I left behind a lot of friends that I wish I could get to know again but that aint going to happen. So as we all do we move on. We all feel like this but we never look back at friends, we just say its in the past, it is what it is and I cant change it now. So what about the one that are still in our lives but we choose to neglect them and just say we can do something for another time? What about the ones we choose to keep? What about the ones we make life long friends? What about the ones we choose to make best friends? Do we keep them or do we also keep them at bay while time passes by? I've asked different people about friends and how to deal with them. The best answer I have gotten was that as you age you learn to put your friends in different categories.

1. The friend that you know and you can count on. You know you can call them anytime and they will pick up the phone or they will be there to do anything for you.

2. The friend that is still there but you know they ain't going to answer the phone to talk and they maybe hang out occasionally. These are the ones that say they to busy to do anything. The ones you only see when a event is taking place and you include them in what going on. A birthday dinner/party/marriage, worst a funeral.

3. The ones that aren't there but you know somewhere somehow they still consider you a friend and you may be connected by facebook, twitter and Instagram whatever. The very distance ones.

This topic weighs heavy on me and it hurts sometimes. How I figure I want to let it out, so I'm going to write down what I think friends are and how I messed up some friendships and have some good ones. Its going to be a lot and you don't have to read this if you don't want to I don't care. Its my blog so I can write what I want. This is on my mind and I want to get it out. I'm not putting names so don't be like well damn who is that?

I first met this friend in elementary school that means we have been friends for a long time. We saw each other coming or going out of class but always manage to have lunch together. In elementary school we found that we had similar interests with comic books, comic cards and video games. When we got to middle school we didn't have any classes together and we didn't stay close to each other but we did find ourselves talking on the phone as teens do. In high school years we discovered movies and started to go together and catch the good ones. I can still remember biking to his house to watch Requiem of a dream and The Fifth Element and talking about it at lunch over square pizza. Though him I met other people that became friends and turned into family. After high school we each went our own ways but always managed to get together and watch a movie, hangout or have backyard bbq. We never had college on our minds and we stayed close to home never going to college. I think he took a couple of classes at the community college but never really went full time. The thing we both manage to do was enter the job force at an early age. Finding jobs doing retail at a Gamestop, Game Crazy or Blockbuster. The funny thing is even now with him moving away we still find the time to stay in touch. He has nothing in Texas to keep him here with both of his parents dead. Through death we bonded even more with his father passing and mine passing around the same time. When he does come to town we make it a goal to get together. This is A example of a friendship that never left and will continue for forever.

The next friend I want to talk about is the one I left behind only to later get back to being friends again. I met him from a friend of his and we instantly hit it off. I think for a good three years we hung out a lot. We would have lan parties of HALO at his house and eat Little Caesars Pizza till 3 in the morning. When he started to hang out with another friend of mine. I got pushed to the side. So I tried to fight it at first but that didn't help. In the end I left and moved on. It was for the best. I mean it gets to a point where you know when you are not needed and you just leave. He contacted me out of the blue one day and we started to hang out again. I didn't mind and said what the hell? We still had things in common so it worked out but in the back of my mind I was still uneasy about it. We ended up falling a back in to the same things going to Flying Saucer and watching baseball games, Gingerman drinking way too much. going to baseball games like every other day. It was nice. Then again we slowly fell apart. He went to college and got his degree and went somewhere to work. Then he came back to Houston and again hit me up out of the blue. We started doing the same things again and once again it was nice. At this point I knew what was going on, I thought he was the extra friend that only came and went so I accepted that and moved on.I went on with my life moving though different jobs and forgetting about him. I still hear it from him to this day. I try to avoid the conversation and we both make it funny we just laugh about it. At this point we text or talk frequently and his has gotten into wrestling which I would think be great for me because it means I have somebody to watch wresting with. The sad thing is whenever I need something fixed on my truck I always go to him running. He fixes it no problem and yet I still treat him like shit. I think about that all the time. How I can go to him for a problem and hes there to fix it but when he texts I just forget about him. That's sad and not cool. It shows what kind of friend I am. When he invites me over to his house I may go or go and leave. He expects me to do more but I do him very bad. As I look at this friendship and I see my other friendships. I pushed him out the way for other things and that was wrong. I would put my needs in front of him and just forget about him. Hell I would put other people in front of him knowing damn well that the outcome was something that was never going to happen. I need to stop doing him like that. Its not fair and that's not the way I should do him. I'm writing this for you to say. I am going to better as a friend. I am going to get that friend time in and start doing more things with you but only if you will allow it. I was a shitty friend in the past but I want to make it right. I am sorry.